How to communicate with your players, so you don't have to talk to the parents.

The title of this article implies that you don't want to communicate with the parents of your players. This isn't what it means at all. The fact is that we should all want to create an environment with our parents that is open and based on the principle of togetherness. The point of this article is to limit the number of negative conversations that you need to have during your season. In 19 years, I have had three of these conversations and each time it was because I dropped the ball in my communication with the athlete. If you are pro-active and honest with your athletes you will have few if any issues with your parents.

Here are a few tips to use to have an open relationship with your athletes.

1.  Complete a skill assessment on each athlete during your first week of practice. Even if you are not having cuts, assess each player on their game skills, athleticism, knowledge of the game, etc. Sit down with each player and go over the assessment with them. Ask them if they disagree with anything on it. You will find that the vast majority will have a realistic opinion of their ability. Tell each player where you see them fitting into the team. If they are not a likely starter make sure they understand that things can change and mean it!

2.  Talk to every player, every day about anything except for your sport. Ask them about their day, their classes, their dog, or their favorite song. You can spend as little as 10 seconds with a player. They will see that you really care about them as people. This will help create that bond that you need to have a tight team and it will give you the benefit of the doubt with the player when they are feeling down about their play.

3.  Publicly praise your role players. Make sure that everyone understands that every contribution is significant to your success as a team. It isn't the superstar that is the difference between the best teams, it is the role player. If your lesser skilled players feel that they are an important piece of the team, he/she will never complain about their playing time.

4. No surprises.  If you are changing your lineup, you may be crushing one of your players. The player that is no longer starting may run through a number of emotions: anger, embarrassment, and disappointment to name a few. The day before the game you should speak with the player not starting. In that private conversation let him/her know the reason why. Be honest with them. If they aren't getting it done, let them know. They will appreciate not being blindsided on game day when you announce the starters and it will give them a day to digest the information.

If you do all of the above and incorporate these simple rules for your parents you will have few if any issues with the parents through the season.

Here are a few rules for you to have with your parents.

1. You will never talk to them about playing time or about other athletes. It isn't right to talk about other athletes with them. They should understand that. As for playing time, their child should talk to you about what they need to do to get better. When you have that conversation, be honest and also sensitive to their feelings. You don't want to lose the kid. If they do what you asked and do improve....get them on the field!

2. If there is a concern, the parent should encourage the athlete to speak with you first. If the parents, feel that was not successful, they should then speak with you. If at that point, they feel unsatisfied, then and only then should it elevate to the athletic director or principal.

The strategies with your players are the important piece here. The more you communicate with your players and the more loved and appreciated that they feel, the easier your season will be and the fewer problems you will have.